I just turned 20 when I got pregnant. I just even graduated from college. I applied in Manila, i didn’t know yet that I was pregnant then,when I get hired,that’s the time I knew I was. Take note, I already broke up with him before that, and never intended to inform about my pregnancy.
I was working as a call center agent, on a night shift, on my first trimester. Could you imagine how I managed that? Like, I want this,and that, I’m craving for this and that, morning sickness, dizziness, and I am all alone. Nobody took good care of me on my first months of pregnancy, as I tried to keep it. Well, I tried to inform the father, but shit!no support!good job,right??😡😡
On the 5th month, I went home, I told everyone. (I know you already know initial reactions from parents) I did it all alone, facing everyone with a trembling soul within me, and a screaming child inside.
I am home, yet, I still feel depressed then, as nobody accepts. But of course, I have to deal with it because I did it. (I have to deal with it all alone).
I took all judgments, critics, etc..name it, i took every word of it, even if I was pregnant.yet, I never cared about anyone. I had a messy life!
Fast forward….
I gave birth. I just stayed at home like a prisoner. Breastfeeding, taking good care of my princess,….and trying to compose myself and be happy.. But I cant, it’s hard to be happy. I felt like a ball of fire was thrown on me. I gave life,yet I don’t have the life. I can’t imagine myself, single, jobless, criticized, judged…. But I still doesn’t care, I only care about my child. I wanted a nice clothes,shoes, beauty salon, i can’t provide for myself,i can’t get what I want. Strenth is the only thing that I have. I didn’t know where in this world did I get that strength to stand still and go on with life.
When she was 3 years old, i left her, went to Manila and worked. That was hard, but I am the strongest woman I know😊. My job? I was a receptionist in a Japanese restaurant with a minimum salary that cannot even give a nice meal😬. Another job hunt..i don’t get contented. I keep resigning and looking for a good one🤣
Years pass…
My daughter is now in school, 3rd grade. I am now in an International restaurant, TGI FRIDAYS, working as a General Manager, well paid, bought a car from hardwork, happy with a British boyfriend and we are living together.😊
During my downfall, i never blame anyone,not even myself. I always think that everything happens for a reason. God has been my refuge and my strength. I have seen how He moves in my life. I felt how HE pushed me up when I was so down. I lift all to God😊
To all single moms there like me, just hold on to God and be strong. It’s just a matter of mindset, if you think you can’t do it, then maybe you can’t really do it. Always keep in mind that you can do everything. Be positive in every way.
Always remember, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, EVERYTHING WILL HAPPEN IN SEASON.😊
#singleMomDiaries
–Gale
BabsletJourney 